Kat's rant

So the other day we were driving to costco for a couple of groceries and Kat was just a straight up jabber box. First, she went of on this tangent:

"WHAT? We're going to COSTCO? I don't really like going there. For one thing, it's cold. And also, it takes a long time there. I like going at first, and then it always takes a long time and I get cold and I don't like going then. But I like helping you at costco, but not for that long." well, OK then... moving on...

Bear was looking out the window repeating "ba! ba!" She said, "no Papa! There is no ball out there! I'm always trying to teach him things. Like earlier, he thought the oranges were balls! I'm trying to tell him, 'no, oranges are oranges. and apples are apples. and balls are balls. all of these things are different.' If I just keep telling him this stuff then maybe he'll learn it. Also, he thought the letter O was a circle. Now I can see why he thought it was a circle, because it looks exactly like a circle, but it's not. it's an O. I can tell cause it was mixed with other letters. So we're talking about letters, not circles." and finally...

We were out running errands and I didn't watch the clock. It was past lunch time and Bear was falling asleep. So I offered a treat of McDonald's. Now Kat hasn't had McD's in I don't know how long. A long time though. So I told her we'd go and she said, "Oh! OK... there's on right over there on Snell Rd!" I laughed because she's right. But I told her, "Brother is almost asleep, we need a drive through...." She said, "OK, well the one by the Little Gym has a drive through." I agreed and said the one by our old house also does. She said, "Oh yeah, over by Rosenbaum". She's right. Who knew my kid had such knowledge of the whereabouts of McD's?

Little Shit

So today had been a good day so far, pretty much. We had our issues getting ready for school but for the most part were able to prevent full on tantrums. After I picked her up from school I told her that we were going to the library. She was thrilled, but started to be naughty. I told her that naughty little girls did not get to pick out books from the library. I told her that I needed her to be a good little girl and then she could pick out some books. You know what she told me? She said, "OK Mommy, then I'll just be good until I get the books, and then after I have them I'll be naughty." I felt like I got punched in the gut, but I calmly said, "well Baby Girl, even if you're naughty after we get the books, then Mommy will just take them away. It doesn't matter if we rented them, that doesn't mean I'll read them to you." She said, "oooh" Like it dawned on her that she had missed that detail.

So that spun us into talking about why she has been behaving so badly lately. She told me, "well, it just depends. Sometimes I just don't want to go to bed. That's why I kept getting up that day. But today I'm very tired, and will certainly go to bed like a good girl when it's bed time today." SHE IS DOING THIS CONSCIOUSLY! Are you freaking kidding me? Incidentally, she did go to bed like a good girl tonight. And she was a good girl for the rest of the day. But it does concern me that she has this power to turn it off and on. She's a sweet girl mostly, but do I need to have her head examined? Please, please... let this be a very short phase. I miss Normal Kat.

Sassy smart (literally, smart) mouth

You know what Kat said to me the other day? She likes to write the grocery list now. I tell her what to write and how to spell it, but she likes to do it. Needless to say, making a grocery list takes frickin forever these days.

Either way, that's not the point. She was spelling something and said, "OK, E. How do I make an E?" I said, "A line, and three lines coming off of it..."

You wanna know what she said? Go ahead, guess....

She looked up at me and said, "Mom? It was a rhetorical question. I know how to make an E already"

Excuse me while my eye twitches a little..........

How did I land in HELL???

OK, so the title sounds a bit dramatic, but seriously, I don't get it. Kat has always been a good girl. She has always responded well to discipline. Usually just knowing she has disappointed someone is enough to break her heart and send her into a tearful apology. She has an incredible sense for logic, so she usually figures out that her behavior is inappropriate and fixes it before there is too much of a scene.

Well, gone are those days my friends. GONE with the effin wind. Tonight was certainly the worst it's been, but it's been getting bad for a while now.

A little while back Katie stopped taking her time outs like a good girl. I hardly have had to give them to her, but when I did she used to take them, apologize and move on. HA! I never knew how lucky I was. I'm paying for it now though! So specifically in the last few days, she jumps up from her time out, laughing in our faces, and grabs a door or something solid so that we literally have to fight just to get her naughty ass to sit back down. After one day when I (somewhat calmly) returned her to time out for over an hour, Hubby decided to look it up on the internet.

The article he found suggested that if the child turns the time out into a game, or if you have to return them to the spot more than 3 times, simply sit and hold the child for the duration of the time out. At first, it worked like magic. Kat screamed and cried for me to let go. She swore up and down she'd be a good girl if only I'd let go. (OK, she's dramatic, keep that in mind. I wasn't even holding her tight) Anyhow, it worked. She apologized and we had a good rest of the day. Then it happened again a couple of days later. Didn't work as great, but it did work.

Today takes the cake though. All the times I watched Supernanny and talked crap about the crappy, clueless parents out there. "I would NEVER let my kid act like that. WTF is wrong with people?" Yep, that was me. And you know what? Now the poor sucker on TV, the one who swears up and down that they've done everything and that their kid is 'different' and just doesn't respond to discipline... now THAT's me. F. How the F did this happen to us? What did I miss? Which day was I absent when they passed out the NAUGHTY AS FING HELL PILLS?

Tonight she got out of bed to go potty. Normally if she has to go, she'll holler for me and I'll tell her, "if you have to go, just go. Then get back in bed. It's not a big deal." Well tonight, she got up and announced from the hall that she had to go. I said that was fine, and then she needed to go back to bed. She went, then she came out and sat on the couch and said, "I don't want to go to bed". I said, "Well, it's bed time and you need to be well rested for school tomorrow... back to bed". She looked at me and said, "no". My rage was starting to rise but my own wise words are ringing in my head. "Be calm. Always be calm. DO NOT let her know she is getting to you." So I told her that I wanted her to make a good decision and go to bed, and make me proud. She would not budge. In fact, she ran away as though it was a joke. So I picked her up and silently put her back to bed. It's pretty much a blur from there. I kept putting her back in bed but it got to the point where I wasn't even able to leave the room without her running out and chanting this infuriating song:

Over the hill, over the hill.....
STOMP STOMP STOMP.

Don't ask me where the hell she picked that up, but she did. So she would march down the hall every time she got up and sing this song. I decided to nip that by being right outside her door so there was no march to be had. She thought that was funny too. Little shit. Eventually I spoke to her, telling her that she was making Mommy disappointed and sad, and that I wanted her to be a good girl. And I reminded her that Mommy is in charge, not Katie.

Eventually she did decide to lay down and go to sleep. Eventually. But honestly, I don't feel like dealing with this crap for any kind of long term. I love being a mom but nights like tonight make me realize how Hubby can't get snipped quick enough. We're SO DONE having babies.

There is no end to this rage driven blog. I truthfully do not know what eventually made her decide to turn off the naughty button and go to sleep. It pisses me off though that it could be turned off and she just chose not to before that. Oh man, all the cliches are true. Terrible Two's are nothing. Three's weren't even that bad for us. We had our moments, but all in all we loved Three. Four though, Four is upon us. And there is plenty to smile about, but plenty to cuss about too.